Primarily, it is critical to recognize that the emotion of anger is perfectly okay, but our actions that are influenced by anger may not be okay. It actually served Him in a way that enhanced His ministry! Sometimes continued friendship is possible and the experience serves to strengthen the bond as valuable lessons are learned from it. This makes it harder for you to let go and move on with your healing. I know from what I have read that those who have children, especially when they are being dragged through the courts, go through the worst time, especially when they use the person you love so much to hurt you, manipulate you, control you. You now need a game plan.
If the person who has been betrayed can not feel safe, trust can not be built. The reality is that people will fail you. However, you can control if you will be caught off guard, and how you will deal with it if it happens. Join a yoga class, take foreign language lessons or volunteer with a charitable organization with your partner. If we trust the process fully, we will heal. A common stage where people become stuck, especially with the issue of betrayal, is in the anger stage. For many people, when they are first hurt and react with anger, their inclination is to retaliate, to hurt the person who hurt them.
There are two sides to every story, and there are many elements that influence events. On the other hand, they may be nosey and try to get you to open up which will just make you digress. You might see the situation and understand it in an entirely different light. This is the point where decisions can be made and action can be taken. This step is so very important for your recovery. Infidelity, lies, or broken promises can severely damage the trust between a husband and wife. Granted, none of these things, save for sleeping and crying, are good for the human body, but in some ways, acting out helps one to deal with the issues at hand.
You may become more compulsive at work and other things you do, pushing harder and more frenetically to diffuse your anxiety. Once pulled it is true that the old emotional state associated with the memory will become your current emotional state. Dwelling obsessively on how you were wronged. The truth is the person who hurt you, cannot heal you, but you can heal yourself. You can't repair broken trust with just promises and statements of forgiveness. Along the lines of tips 1 and 2 you need to be dealing more with how you feel, and less of others opinions and advice of what to do.
See Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28-31! This article only touches on the surface of all the emotions involved with betrayal, grief, and loss. I have said that in capital letters, as I want to stress the point. Never had everyone against them. What may be harder than forgiving your partner is forgiving yourself. Rise above it, nothing that somebody else has done, can possibly destroy you.
Overeating, alcohol or drug abuse, overworking, or shopping may help you in the short-term, but your feelings will still be under the surface, waiting to be triggered. Sulking is when you are in a mood of sorts and usually resort to silence. Trust in yourself — believe in yourself — never let someone else define who you are. Sometimes acting out could be as simple as staying at home and mourning your loss. The only advice I can offer is to keep any contact brief, and treat it as a business transaction afterall this is how he views you and probably your child as a possession that he owns. Once trust is broken it can be very difficult to rebuild it and it must be earned back.
An employee passed over for a promotion by an employer who had promised it. Or, at least be open to forgiving. The sadness is experienced when you begin to recognize the full extent of what you have lost. And how did Jesus respond? This is a terrific post it brought me back to last yr. Many times, a friend who has betrayed you once will do it again, but this depends on the situation and the person. Try to find a therapist who specializes in dealing with your particular situation. It's happened to me a few times in the past 20 years of ministry! Your relationship is likely to feel fragile and tentative for several years after the affair is revealed, but during that time you can expect to experience many reassuring, joyous moments as well.
Determine the validity of the circumstances before jumping to conclusions. It has been nearly two years since I left him, and I honestly do not want to think about him. What were the mitigating circumstances? Your goal is to be and remain emotionally healthy. Actively process your emotions as they come. The emotions once activated make it harder to turn away.